The way to a man’s heart? Is it his stomach?

intro gourmet foods

The age old question, how to win a man’s heart?

Does anyone actually know the answer, can point us in the right direction or perhaps in the vicinity of a vague, fuzzy one? Anyone? (Cough). Well, apparently men are simple creatures who are satisfied with only a few, basic qualities in a woman. How to win man’s heart? Easy. All you need to do is keep a clean house, cook a scrumptious meal, be good in bed, be understanding of his needs and have a sense a humour. Simple, right? Well, if being a comedic genius and listening to him whine for hours with a smile on your face, whilst prancing around the house in sex-kitten lingerie with a feather duster and making offerings of chocolate filled cup cakes twenty-four-seven sounds too much like hard work, return to the basics. Ask women of the past how to win a man’s heart and keep him and you’ll find the reoccurring response is food. Yes, food. The same method used to woo and bribe pets and small children is as effective on the adult male. Apart from simply being a means of survival, food provides comfort and is often more enjoyable when shared.

Others may argue and attempt to convince you that that they know how to win a man’s heart but the following paragraphs will prove that these methods are severely flawed.

How to win a man’s heart failed attempt number 1: Always laughing at his jokes. Pretending that he has the talents of a stand-up comedian will only last so long. Laughing is tiring if it’s forced and there is no use encouraging the humorously challenged. You may think you’re flattering him but this will only cause pain in the future when he tries out jokes ‘that really impressed’ his girl on a less appreciative, unsuspecting audience...

How to win a man’s heart failed attempt 2: Cleaning. No one likes doing it, so why pretend. If you attempt to rush about after him like a crazed, 1950s housewife you’ll end up not only scaring him but will probably also come across filthy habits that are better left alone. For example: unwashed sheets and clothes, small animals growing on dirty dishes etc... Let. It. Be.

How to win a man’s heart failed attempt 3: Sexy lingerie. Ok, so this one isn’t a complete failure as it has its perks for both parties but in terms of maintaining a long-lasting relationship? Hmmm. Seriously, does anyone know of sexy grandma lingerie (shudder)…but couples are still together when they’re old and wrinkly and it isn’t the sexy times keeping them together.

How to win a man’s heart failed attempt 4: Being understanding. Yes, nod and sympathise and pay attention to his troubles but when it comes to pandering to his every whim, there’s a limit. Sometimes he needs to know he’s wrong, being annoying or is just plain stupid. No one’s perfect so there’s no use keeping up the charade. You’ll end up a medicated mess if you agree with everything he does, says and thinks. The truth is a crueller but much healthier option.

How to win a man’s heart? The easiest and most assured way is through his stomach. Yes, with food my dear, food. No one can live without it and who can go past a homemade meal or freshly baked treats? With so many options for breakfasts, snacks, lunches, dinners and suppers, food is something men will never tire of. Find out his tastes and master all his favourites and he’ll soon realise he can’t live without you!